Category: Parent Talk
Hi there. This is my first time posting to the board. Just wondering if or how often you follow the advice of your childs/childrens docs? I don't agree with a lot of the theories that my dd's doc has, but there aren't to many attachment parenting types in this area.
Based on the fact that your a single mom and most likely didn't have good enough partner selection to insure the father would stick around as well as the fact you give no examples of what theorys you disagree with, why you disagree with them, or what research you've done I hope for your sake you listen to your doctors since I'm sure they'll do a better job taking care of your child then you would if left to your own devices.
personally, i do listen to my daughter's doctor. but i also did research to find a doctor i liked and am comfortable with. if something were to come up that i didn't agree with, i would first discuss it in detail with my doctor and if necessary, i would seek a second opinion. i would have to agree with jared on the examples part of his post. i'd be able to answer better if you gave examples as to what it is the doctor is doing or saying.
also, you say that there aren't many attachment style doctors in your area, which says to me, that there is at least one. if this is the style of parenting you choose, then i'd suggest using that style of doctor.
research is important in my opinion when it comes to choosing anyone that will be caring for your child. this includes doctors, dentists, day care, and any other people that i haven't mentioned.
some people are so judgmental. The Roman Battle Mask don't judge me when you've not walked in my shoes.
When my kids were younger it seems I was always arguing with their pediatrician: and I was almost always wrong. He and I got along fine, with mutual respect. We just disagreed.
The problem seems to occur when you and the docs don't listen to one another.
As for Jared's opinion: never mind.
Bob
I am moving soon and will have a wider selection of pediatricians. The pediatrician we have now is OK. I think he's a bit leery of us two blind people taking caring of one and soon to be two babies. Lol. Poor guy doesn't know what to think.
TRBM, you are the biggest fucking asshole around, which is probably the nicest thing that will ever be said of you, by even your mother or the Pope. Moving on. She did not give spacific examples, because to do so would take pages upon pages of explination. I am an attachment parent and good lord, the amount of things that the AMA and the CPSC spout that attachment parents don't agree with or take issue with could fill books. I know what she means though. I will be switching pediatricians in the next few months for jjust that reason. Just FYI to a different poster. There is no such thing as an attachment style doctor. rofl There are some who are more or less supportive of attachment parenting than others, but that's about it. Examples though, for those who really want to know. Whether or not to give vaccinations, which vaccinations to give and which to delay, when to start solids, when to stop breastfeeding, whether or not to co-sleep or to bed share, how long to babywear, what sorts of materials to allow in clothing, toys and body care products for children, thoughts on exposure to pets and other environmental allergens, when milestones should be reached and what constitutes the reaching of a milestone, whether or not to circomsize, whether or not to pierce baby's ears, filing versus cutting of finger and toenails, treating teething with herbal oils or pain killers, cloth diapers versus disposable, belief or not in the existance of ADD and ADHD, whether or not controled crying is harmful, back to sleep or tummy, to use or not to use a pacifier, and so on and so on and so forth. Each issue has an extreme pro and con faction supporting it as well as various gradients inbetween, and there are research studies of varying validity and reliability supporting all aspects of these individual arguements. So, this is probably why she didn't type an exhaustive catalogue of the issues. She is probably too busy caring for her child to waste her time proving herself to you. If anyone has anything meaningful to post on this topic, please, do share. I'd be glad to discuss with someone who 1. is not an insufferable git, 2. actually has children, and/or 3. doesn't instantly enspire the overwhelming urge in me to smash their face in whenever I encounter their name in print.
um im sorry, but i hate smart ass parents or wana b parents, geta life!!!! if u not a parent and u have nothing knowledgeable 2 say but insult ppl and piss them off then please please please and I MEAN PLEASE DONT POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that was refering 2 poster 2 of this discussion!!
ONe wonders, and I'm not a parent by any means, but I merely wonder, why one would worry about so many different, and seemingly very pointless things. If, say your baby starts walking at the age of one rather then 1.6284732 years, would you break there legs so that they may walk when you are ready for them to?
I don't underrrstand why people must standardize everything. Why can't you let a baby develope at its rate, and be satisfied with that? We have been having babies for tens of thousands of years, and it seems that its worked so far. Why is it now in the last twenty or so years, we suddenly have questions of whether or not our babies can sleep on their backs or not. that seems so trivial to me.
as for disagreeing with your doctor. they went to school for years, and specialize in babies, you got laid without using a condom, or planned a child, whichever. The point is, they most likely know more than you. I'd give their opinion some credibility before saying they're wrong. Just a thaught.
I actually have people who find my company entertaining, at least after a few beers so your opinion doesn't matter to me.
The whole point, if you would care to pay attention for one moment, please, is that attachment parents are against the strict standardization of milestone charting that most doctors, educators and social workers seem obsessed with. Also, as there are hundreds, no, thousands of articles in everything from parenting magazines to medical journals to text books on how much the sleeping position of infants impacts the likelyhood that they will die of SIDS, apparently it is a very important issue. Many attachment parents feel very strongly that position is not as important as proximity to the parents, however, as a baby in the same bed or at least the same room as his or her parents is much more likely to be noticed and helped if experiencing obstruction of breathing or any other type of distress. Oh, and I am very interested to know how exactly you were present in my bedroom at the time at which my son was conceived and why you were looking that closely at my partner's member to ascertain that it was or was not covered by a condom. That's frankly very very scary. Creepy even. I think a restraining order might be called for in this situation. Seriously though. You know absolutely nothing about me. I could be a sixteen year old girl living in the ghetto with my baby, no partner, and mootching off of welfare to get by with no intention of ever getting a job. I could be the thirty-five-year-old wife of a successful trial lawyer living in a five bedroom, three and a half bath house. I could be anything from a high school drop out high on crack to a hard-working college student to a licenced psychologist. So, I ask you, who the hell are you precisely? Can we have some discussion in earnist that actually addresses the topic for which this board was created? Chiefly the experiences of parents who have come into conflict with the guidance and opinions of their children's primary health care providers. Oh, and that reminds me, doctors are human beings, imperfect and not at all infallible. Why, if doctors are perfect are there instances of women being advised to have C-sections when it was not necessary, of surgical sponges and scalpels being left inside of patients after they have been sewn up? Why does the AMA change it's views every couple of years on a miriad of issues? Because research changes, new knowledge comes to light, some supposed facts are proved false and sometimes science backtracks when it is discovered that what we have been assuming was the latest and greatest medical advancement is actually detremental. If you blindly follow instructions from your doctor with out asking educated questions, being your own or your child's best advocate, doing your own research and finding a doctor that you are most comfortable with then you are both ignorant and lax not to mention the fact that you are putting yourself and your child at a very rreal risk.
post 11 i agree with u and poster 10 shouldnt even b allowed on the parrent board. how about all of us sign a patition stating that the roman isnt allowed on the parenting board???????????????????? SOUNDS HELLA AND I MEAN HELLA GOOD TO ME!!!
SensuallyNaturallyLiving4Today, you've summed up what the original point of the original topic. I agree more withthe attachment parenting philosophy of parenting, but I'm not saying it's right for everyone. We all can raise our kids however we want.
Ok, through my wonderful powers of observation, I deduce that attachment parenting gives you very thin skin, since nothing I've seen on here was all that insulting, and you guys are going ballistic over it.
And if attachment parenting makes a child depend so much on there parent, as it seems to do through some of the research I did on the subject, then count me out. I can't stand those little panty waste children that hide behind mommy's skirts. I can understand that a five year old is not sergeant york, but still. Teach your kids to do things on there own and be there own person. And maybe by the time they get to twenty or so, they will be a person worth existing... maybe.
Just my opinion, feel free to explode and act all offended now.
attachment parenting is best for babies and for moms and dads. if we are with our children, we know their needs and their problems. i was an attachment parent, and guess what I have two well adjusted normal young adults.
We are not talking about smother mothers. there is a difference. an attached parent is aware ofher child's growth and the best way to encourage it. this includes letting go as the child matures. Closely involved parents realize that each child is unique. the child's strengths are encouraged and the gifts are nurtured. the smother mother uses her clinginess as power and control. get a grip and figure out the difference.
as for pediatricians,my children always have had a care team. this includes the day care provider, the parents, and the doctors. i am a relatively well read averagely intelligent person. I communicate well with the doctors and ask questions. Being empowered and educated does not mean that we are downplaying the professionalism of a doctor. It means we are trying to find out and do the best for our family. am i making sense at all? If a doctor treats me like i am a toddler I go elsewhere. my kids did not and do not need to see their parents as people to be condescended too.
When my son was six months old, he got chicken pox. the nurse got outraged because I couldn't give her an exact temperature. I talked calmly to her and explained that I was blind and how i took the temperature. The next time I wentr in to the doctor's office, I was asked if I'd give a brief talk to the professionals on their lunch hour. I said of course. It was educational for all of us. I will hate it when my daughter turns 21 and she will have to find a different doctor.
You're into attachment parenting? i am also. We have to talk. If my doctor told me to stop breastfeeding because the child is too old, let them cry to sleep in a crib because they need to learn to sleep on their own, or not to cosleep at all, I'd just laugh and get a new doctor. I'd also remind him that his place is to give me medical advice, not parenting advice. I'd also gently remind that I did not ask for it. Now, if the doctor and i were on reasonable terms and could reason things out, then it is worth having a discussion. But, of course, I'll be interviewing doctors before i have the child anyhow, so I don't get a dud or one i hate.
My childhood ped is still in practice. So, unless he retires, my children will see him. Even if he does, they can see my GP that I saw from eleven on. Him and his brother are still in practice, and they probably will be for another thirty years or so. They are awesome. They have never judged me because I'm blind. They are not peds but see people of all ages.
No, i do not always listen to a doctor. There are good and bad ones, and I'd know that from being chronically ill and being exposed to a lot of people who are sickly. Some really try to take advantage of their patients, and some are just down right horrible. One doctor, I could have sued, but i did not because I was too exhausted. I should have, though, and i'm mad when I think about it. The witch is still in practice and probably hurting more people. she is evil! She is the kind that probably would have a blind parent's child snatched. I wonder what the statute of limitation is and if I could still go after her. That pig needs to be out of business!
I love all my doctors now. They are the best. I hope I have them for a very long time. I don't want to get new ones anytime soon.